Putting off pounds with Poetry

I started this journey like 2 or 3 years ago. I’ve been so far out of touch with my weight loss journey I can’t remember when I started. I’ve been up and down in my love life that I’ve taken focus off of me completely. I don’t mind giving someone else my attention but I stopped giving it to me.

I learned today that I have 2 health conditions that I can associate to my weight gain. Skin tags (ugh) these are benign tumors that resemble moles. And I’m getting them every where. I can get surgical string or dental floss and tie them off but there are so many and if I don’t lose the weight I’m prone to get more. In addition I’m starting to get overactive sweat glands. Its starting to get embarrassing. I never used to get the armpit stains and I’m using deodorant.

So today I am taking back over my weightloss. Over a few years I’ve only been able to maintain 9 pounds of weight but I know I can can achieve more for myself. Medically I’m 50 pounds overweight. I think 110 looks cute on a teenager so I’m still aiming for 125 to 130. Baby steps though.

I’ve already gotten started with maintaining a workout regimine. Now I have to focus on my diet again. I know what’s need, I got the tools, old food logs (from when I was losing) now I just need the dicipline again.

Day 1……..

Good morning!  I’m feeling really stressed and blessed at the same time.  Stressed due to some relationship issues but above and beyond all that I am doing well.

You know in all things in life they say you need a support system to help you succeed.  Ultimately the task is yours but the support system not only keeps you grounded but also uplifts you.  I think via buddyslim I have developed a great support system to help with my weightloss journey, Loni, Yumika, Kama, and Stacey have stuck it out with me off this site and I just like to say thank you again. Don’t know how many times I can say it to make sure you understand how much youre appreciated so I’ll say it every chance I get.

Now outside of my weightloss I’ve listed here my support system sucks major ass. It just came to light that some that I call friends and even some family are wishing ill against me in other avenues of my life and some even on the weight loss tip. They aren’t always outwardly holding me down but….for example I have been a tower of support for many of my friends for many reasons to the point that I neglect my own wants and needs at times.  I’m their ear, their shoulder to cry on, their financial provider at times, backup if trouble is lurking and even if they are wrong I stick by them to walk thru seemingly bad decisions.  Yet Im finding that when I go to them for these same reasons they are pretending to uphold me.  Its like they give me their ear but my words run out the other one, I have their shoulder but theyre slacking in their stance so my balance is still shaky.  You get the picture.  I have never thought that I would tell them something and inwardly they are praying for the negative to take place. And I’m speaking real prayers.  I believe the power of prayer is real, wishing, hoping etc all of that can be a powerful thing to effect someone’s life.   I’m on a road to happiness and I can’t let anyone come between that knowingly or unknowingly.  I realized that I’ve taken prayer out of my daily routine and thats why its been so easy for someone else’s prayers against me to be effective.  I need to build back up my body of armor starting today, well yesterday to be exact.

Okay so as far as weight loss goes.   Drum roll please………  I am down to 158.2 this lovely Sunday morning.   Tha’ts 4.8 pounds down since my last weigh in.  Again I think last week I had water weight from Flo(about 2 pound) which would have put me at 161 instead of the scales 163 so I don’t think I’m losing too fast. Which if I’m accurate about the water weight I would guesstimate an a loss of 2.8.  I failed to do my complete measurements last week but I did do the waistline.  I was at 33 inches.  And this week I’m at 31 1/2 inches.  So Im feeling grand.

I didnt hit my exercise routines like I expected last week.  I only did two days.  When I realized I was not productive there I made sure I kept my nutrition on point.  This week I plan on doing a more balanced routine with nutrition and exercise.

Here’s to a new week!

Here I am 2 years later with nothing to show for it weight wise.  I started my journey at 174 pounds and now I’m down to 163.  11 pounds in two years.  I’m so disappointed in myself.  No depressed just disappointed.

I threw in the towel about a month ago. Everything around me seemed to be going down the drain and every relationship I was dealing with was turning upside down.  Work, family, matters of the heart and my weight loss journey.  I didnt want to feel depressed so it was better for me to give up and not focus on it all.  Pretending seemed to make more sense than dealing with reality.  Well pretending has brought me back to 163 pounds.  Back to that milestone that it took me so long to reach.  Just a year and half ago, on my 36th birthday, I was down to 152 I honestly dont know what the hell happened that knocked me off my game.  My discipline is next to none.

I have the knowledge to lose the weight. Ive proven that time and time again.  I just need to regain the drive and focus to keep it off.   I feel so good when I workout.  But getting my butt to do it has become an issue.  I know how to prepare healthy meals and watch portion control, I just havent been diligent in practicing.

Im trying to become a whole new me.  A healthier me. Hoping to find the right man to love.  Mending fences with family but cutting the strings to those who are weighing me down.  And looking into a new career.

I was 163.4 last Sunday.  Yesterday I was 161.2  which would have been a 2.2 pound loss.  But this morning Aunt Flo has arrived and I’m at 163, so  .4 loss.  I usually carry about 2pounds water weight when Flo is here so I think I’m still on track.

I’m back to setting goals. 1.3 pounds a week is my weekly goal.By New Years Eve (5 weeks) I plan on being 155.  My final goal is still 128.  I have 27 weeks to achieve my goal weight.  Thats 35 pounds, an average of 1.29 pounds per week.

Well here’s to a new week.  About to take some body measurements and update this blog later.  Journaling at least once a week is part of the game plan as well.  I was more successful when I was doing so.

Hey fam.  I still don’t have my laptop fix so I haven’t been on here as much as I wanted.  Long story short I went up to 164.7 pounds.  That was just shy of 5 pounds from my original weight when I started here.  I bought myself a Wii and the Wii Fit Plus and I absolutely love working out on here.  I just hope I don’t get discouraged.

Fact check:  (I do these for my benefit sometimes).  I haven’t been consistent with working out.  I haven’t been monitoring my portion sizes.  And I have been indulging too much in the sweeter side of foods.  That’s the reason for my weight gain in a nutshell.

Well since I started doing those 5k’s I have been getting my motivation back.  I’m not up to code yet but I’m headed in the right direction.  My next 5k is in 11 days.  Yippee.  My last one I took 5 minutes off the previous time. So my new time to beat is 41 minutes.

I have a new workout plan that I’m hoping to stick to.  Since getting the Wii Fit on Aug 8, I set a goal to lose 8 pounds in 30 days.  Its 10 days later and I’m already 4 pounds down.  I want to say it was all hard work but I know my menstrual played a part in the gain and loss.  But I’m still setting my sites for that 8 pound total.  11 would be ideal since I know I gain 3 pounds when Aunt Flo is here.  (sorry TMI)

Oh as I was stating new workout routine…..

Sunday—-1hour wog and 1 hour Zumba (may not do until Wed)

Monday—Yoga

Tuesday—Weights and Cardio

Wednesday- off (or Zumba)

Thursday—Wii

Friday—Wii and dancing

Saturday–off

Hopefully I don’t stray too much from this routine.  This week has already been a downer because Im working a longer day.   I have been on top of my nutrition.

Well gotta get to work now.  That’s my update.  Hope to be back again soon.  I don’t plan on getting another laptop until Black Friday sales.  So we will see.

Oh my scale says 158.4.  The Wii says 160.4.   My ticker matches my scale. 

Morning about to do my 2nd 5k of the year. I didn’t reach the goal of losing ten pounds so let’s see if I can lose the ten minutes. Its a big jump from last time but my mind is saying I can do it.
My scale says I maintained, still 158.6. I don’t want a maintain on this run. My 12yr old decided to run with me. I’m super excited she may keep me up I had several 12 yr olds kick my butt in the last 5k lol.
Well time for breakfast and stretching.

Blah blah blah. That’s how I’m feeling this morning.  I have my 5k in 6 days and I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t even feel like working out this morning.  I just want to lay up and be lazy.

I did a random weigh-in this morning and I gained .4 ounces from the last weigh in. So now I’m 158.6.  I suspected this since I havent been charting my food.  I just knew I hadn’t gone overboard.  Gaining .4 is like a maintain for me.

The plus side is I’m still down from 2 weeks ago and I did drop those inches back off…I love when the inches fall.  Makes my clothes happier. So here’s my accountability chart.

As of Jan 31st            Mar 2             June 27        July 13

Weight     155.2          157.0              160.6            158.6

Bust          35.5            36                  37.5                36

Chest        35.25          35.25            35.5               35

Waist        31                31                  33                    31

Hips          40.5             39.5             40                   40

Thigh        25                24.75           25                    23.75

Knee         16.75            16.5            17                     17

Calf           15.5              15.25         15.25               15.25

Neck         13.5              13.5           14                      13.75

Bicep        11.75             11.5            12                     12

BMI                                                   31.3                   30.9

Body Fat   35%           34.4%        36%                  34%

So progress as far as inches lost, now I need to combat those pounds again.

Well let me get on that blasted bike. Yeah I’m gonna do something even though I don’t feel like it.  Oh the knee is still not healed yet but it takes time.  6 wks appx if I’m doing what I’m supposed to.  So it’ll be the end of August before I see progress.

Well its the day after hump day…..lets celebrate!  Woo hoo! *turn cartwheels*.  Wednesdays are usually my hardest day of the week to conquer. Most of us think its the weekend.  But not for me.  On Wednesday I’m usually faltering from my workout routine, I’ve lost track of my nutrition so by the time the weekend comes I’m already in the doghouse.

I made it this week over that darn hump.  I don’t know why I’ve always looked at it like it was a mountain.  I got on the scale this morning, which I usually try not to do in the middle of the week but figured what the hay.  Well I’m down 2.2 pounds since Sunday.  I hope to keep that off and add 1.1 more pounds to it.  I have a 10 pound goal by 7/18 that Im trying to achieve.

I’m starting the Activia 14 day challenge.  To tell you the truth I don’t even know what the challenge is.  I bought some just to see how it taste and the label says try the 14 day challenge.   Well thank goodness it taste great so whatever the challenge is I should be able to eat this for 14 days.

Well this is mainly a mini update for myself.  And I have to adjust something I posted earlier.  When I weighed myself my prior reading said 160.6 not .4 like I previously stated so my ticker should have said 161 but now I’m 158.4.

My knee is still not healed, I found it will take 6 weeks to fully recover if I follow instructions for helping it heal.  I want to do more in my workouts that would be nonbeneficial for the knee.  So instead of jogging I will be hitting the bike more often.  I still can walk but I need to stay on even ground as much as possible to keep pressure off the knee and not walk as far.

Okay….so I’m updated.  Later.

I haven’t been on here in a while.  Which those of you who are regulars know that an absence can be detrimental to your progress.  Since I’ve been gone, I’ve had another injury…..haven’t worked out regularly and have not been in control of my eating habits, and my life is not in utter shambles but it lives on the same block.

I make no excuses.

So lets see what happened. It’s been 6 weeks since I last posted and  I am now back over 160 pounds. 160.4 to be exact.  It took me months last year to break the 160 mark and here I am again. Sweets have been my downfall.  Everything sweet, even fruits, I have eaten in an abundance.   I need to kick this sugar binge I’m on and kick it fast.

I’ve been trying to find my rhythm again for my workouts. I haven’t been to the gym in 5 weeks. I’ve only picked up walking again in the last couple of weeks.  I don’t have a program anymore and can’t figure out where to start.  And that is ridiculous for me to say considering I have a year and a half of logs on this site that I can refer back to.

On Memorial Day I ran my second 5k.  The first one was back in 2004 and I don’t remember my time.  The one I ran on Memorial Day was freaking horrible.  My time was 46:01.  I have walked a 5k in that exact time.  Now I will say this majority of the 5k was all up hill.  I didn’t run the entire race. I will estimate that 1.5k I jogged and the rest was walking.  That 1.5 was the only part of the route that was flat ground or downhill.

This is where the other injury came in.  Since that race I can’t seem to bend my knee properly.  Its the same knee that was swollen last year when I was walking 20 miles a day in Trinidad.  Funny thing is I can’t tell that its swollen and there is a dime sized section of bone that I feel pain.  As long as I keep moving the knee doesn’t bother me at all.  Once I stop moving for 5 minutes or more it completely stiffens up.  6 weeks now and no improvement.  I’m so sick of going to the doctor I won’t go this time.  I think if I lose the weight it will help.

So to get my buttocks back in the game. I am rededicating myself to myself today.  I’ve signed up for another 5k in 3 weeks on July 18.  My goal is to shed 10 pounds and 10 minutes.  I’ve started the Jillian Michaels losing it idea…ridding my house of unnecessary items.  July 18th I plan on having a garage sale as well.

I’m going for a walk in the park as soon a my phone charges up and before the sun turns up the heat.  Its been unbearable here these days.  Heat getting around 97 and the index around 107.  Humid humid humid.  So I plan on being at the park by 7am.  Don’t worry its been daylight since 5am.

I just realized I haven’t posted measurements since March. WTF!  I have sabotaged myself by not being accountable.

Here’s the ugly truth:

As of Jan 31st            Mar 2             Now

Weight     155.2          157.0              160.4

Bust          35.5            36                  37.5

Chest        35.25          35.25            35.5

Waist        31                31                  33

Hips          40.5             39.5             40

Thigh        25                24.75           25

Knee         16.75            16.5            17

Calf           15.5              15.25         15.25

Neck         13.5              13.5           14

Bicep        11.75             11.5            12

Jeans   size 8                                     size 8

water            56oz                                 84oz   (finally my water is better!)

body’s age   33.2                31.9               34.5

biological age 37 yrs old                  2.5 yrs younger   (my goal is to have my body be 10 yrs younger)

OK phone is charged I’m late but I’m still going!

This week ended on a sour note for me.  I was pumped up and ready to kick some butt in the gym and then I hurt myself.  Yes again.  I notice that between April and June of the past four years I have injured myself.  This time I twisted my good ankle while at work.  I’ve been icing and elevating it. The pain is now gone but still puffiness around the injured site and tonight I have to be at a swanky gala where I need to put on heels.  Ugthh!  I pray that my ankle is strong enough to hold me up in those bad boys.  Only 4 inches this time but ya never know.  I hate to be the one sitting in the event not dancing but I will be there for 2 hours and then another event for 2 more hours.  I know I’m going to want to dance or at least sway a little at some point.  Hell I went to the club in a cast with crutches…:(

I have started taking Vitamins….*sigh* I hate taking pills of any sort.  But I think that is the problem here, I’m lacking some serious nutrients.  I cut myself with my own fingernails and don’t even know it until I add lotion, oils, or perfume and it stings.  But my nails keep breaking and are super jagged!  Two more signs that I’m lacking some nutrients.

Well due to the injury I wasn’t able to walk for a couple days…well the second day I was mobile but with a stabilizer on.  So the gym went out the window and flo came in the door, so I don’t feel I should weigh in this Sunday.  Who knows I may anyway.   I already know flo adds 2.5 pounds of water & plasma weight to me. So if I weigh in and the scale says  158.3 I know thats just flo and it will dropped off soon as she passes through anything more is a gain and anything less just tells me that I did keep my nutrition in check.

Well I need to go get dressed…I’ll keep my brace on for as long as possible.  Smooches!

First let me say congratulations to Eryn our winner!  I am determined to take you down the next time around, lol.  Well ladies I had a great week thanks to all of you.  The friendly competition is getting me back into gear.  I missed what it felt like to be in control.  I’m looking forward to doing this challenge and any other with you ladies again.   I won’t let all this work go in vain…this week I will be just as dedicated.  I got a good view of what things I need to tweak as far as nutrition is concerned and I would like to share workouts with you.   So don’t be shocked if I asked for you to give me a routine to do sometime in the new future.

Thanks again ladies you all have been an inspiration!

Hello ladies well the results are in! First let me say that I lost 4.2 pounds!  I must have really been overeating these past few months and this week really showed me that.  Need to stop using my memory, which has proved it doesn’t work properly :), and get back to logging my food.  Keeping me in the 1200 to 1500 calorie range (with the exception of 2 days) is where I need to stay.  4.2 pounds holy smokes.  Feeling good.

Okay

4/25   Calories 1414         Exercise 284

4/26    Calories 1654        Exercise 0

4/27    Calories 1219        Exercise 133

4/28    Calories 1475        Exercise 391

4/29    Calories 1273        Exercise 241

4/30    Calories  1392       Exercise 363

5/1       Calories  1821       Exercise 436

Total   calories   10248    Exercise  1848  =     8400

I think I added and subtracted correctly.   Well ladies Im off to the gym right now.  Then getting me some roti and head back to St. Louis!

Hey only have 5 minutes to type this blog and be on my way out the door for work.  I started a new calories counting challenge with a few of my buddyslim buddies.  It was perfect timing because I had begun to slack off on keeping track of all my food.  All I have to say is Loni, Kama, Eryn and Yumika….be ready for me ladies because you are all going down down down, lol.

Yesterday my 12 yr old ask to join the gym with me.  Yippee.  She’s not overweight but not active at all so I think this will be great.  She has her first session with the personal trainer on Wednesday and we start yoga classes together.  I’m trying to talk her into zumba or hiphop aerobics but she is like, “me dance be for real momma!”  We shall see :).

Okay 3 minutes left to type.  1st day of the challenge was a breeze got a good workout in.  2nd day…hard….my work schedule got changed and I didnt get lunch when expected so I was starving.  By the time I did get lunch I popped in a tv dinner because I was crunched for time.  Calories stayed ok for the challenge but my sodium was thru the roof.  Potential for retaining much water and workout was blah!

Today I plan to….oops out of time!

Hey buddies I’m back.  I realized that everyday is day 1 for me.  Each day I’m learning something new and trying something new.  I’ve taken time to look back over the past year, the past month, past week and honed in on what I’ve been doing and not doing.  So today is day 1 for me.  Don’t worry I won’t post blogs titled day 1 every day.

Yesterday I outlined me a weekly program for a month.  I’m signing up for a yogalates class.   I’m going to do one day of weight training. One day nothing but walking.  And interval training.  I don’t have me a set schedule yet because I haven’t figured out what gym is the best for me to go to for the class.  It will begin next week.   But this week I am still doing something.  Yesterday was 40 min. on the crosstrainer.  Today I’m doing 45 in the park on the stairs.  Hump day is usually the worst for me as far as exercising.  So no plans for tomorrow.  Thursday I will do my chi-gong and hit some weights.  And Friday I will jog and then dancing that night.

I will get back into to blogging to keep everyone updated on my progress with weights, measurements, nutrition and random thoughts. LOL.

In case you didn’t read my bulletin but read this blog.  I am going to do a 5K in August.  Right now I can only jog about 2 minutes without stopping.  This journey will be fantastic.  Ok gotta go to work.  Glad to be back on buddyslim.

Just decided to change my ticker back to my original start date and weight.  I changed it last October to signify a new year and new starting point but its discouraging to keep looking at a four pound lost when overall I’ve done more than that.  But if I can just break through the 150’s I will be so elated.

Here I go again looking for balance in my life and not finding where its at.  I get pumped up and ready to take on the week and by day 3 I’m thrown off my plan.  My intentions this week are to hit the gym Sun, Tues, Thur and Fri.  Well its Tuesday am I at the gym.  No.  Got called into work need to be there by 7 and I was due to be at the gym by 7.  Yesterday I didnt get off work until 7pm went at 8am, so by the time I got home I was too tired to do anything but sleep.  I did get a salad in and a small portion of chicken, potatoes and corn.  But I woke up hungry.

It will be a task getting me pumped back up for the gym in the evening.  I somehow never make workouts when they are after 3pm.  The positive though is I will be hopping in and out of a truck and delivering parcels and mail for the next 10hrs so I won’t be sitting on my tush the whole time.  Sunday after my self pep talk I did get to the gym.  Almost a two hour workout.  I did 20min on crosstrainer, 20 min on treadmill, 15 min on spin bike and a ten station circuit on the weight machines.  That back extension and ab crunch aren’t playing.  I was breezing through like this is easy piece of cake when I woke up Monday my abs and back were screaming.  The shoulder press and lateral pull down I hate!  I cant make it through 10 reps of 25 pounds without stopping.  But I want to conquer those darn thing! That’s why I wanted to go today.  I need that I need to feel the burn and no that I’m working muscle groups that need attention.  I burned 668 calories on Sunday and lifted 6785 pounds of weight.  Plus I have a session schedule with a personal trainer on Friday.  I wanted to be loosened up before she pounds me.  When I was selecting a trainer I said give me someone who won’t kill me and I picked a 6am training session.  She said well you don’t want me then and low and behold she was one of the two trainers available at 6am.  So I picked her.  :)  If she is the killer trainer, despite what my mouth said, I want her!

Ok so I need to give myself an evening pep talk so I can get my workout in.  Not going to the gym but Biggest Loser will be on and I should be able to grind it out on my stationary bike at home. Although I have missed Biggest Loser the past three weeks because I’ve sleep through the show.  Hmmm.   Pep talk has begun.

Sigh.  Scale not moving but neither did I.  This week was absolutely horrible.  Horrible I tell ya.  I’m supposed to be heading to the gym right at this very moment but I decided to blog instead.  Procrastination and his friend excuses have been hanging with me this week.  Didn’t go to the gym one single day since last week Friday.  Didn’t eat properly all week.  And I am dragging!  No energy.  None at all.  But I will force myself to get off this computer and take my bootay too the gym this morning!  I will I will.

NO excuses this week.  I have a goal that I missed over a year ago, a month ago and a week ago.  It’s time for me to not just aim for the goal but actually knock that sucker out.  Get up off my orangutan (yeah trying to stop cursing) and get  to the gym!  Lets get moving Poetry and I’m not talking about the fingers typing this blog.  Oh yeah…here I go….putting shoes on now….and I’m up